Sources say that Samajwadi Party President AkhileshYadav was the most annoyed by the results of the exit poll, though the newspaper group had promptly taken the results off. So upset was Akhilesh that when he held his meeting with state officials at around 9.30 pm that day, he pointedly asked ADG (Law and Order): “What has been done about the exit poll results?” The officials said in one voice that FIRs have been filed. “But what about arrests? Has anyone been arrested till now?” asked the peeved CM. officials looked askance and said, “Sir who should we arrest?” At this, Akhilesh rushed back to his inner sanctum, leaving the officials bewildered. The latter waited for about 15-20 minutes, but with no CM in sight, they too went back to their homes. It is said that it is just after this that the Hindi editor was put behind bars!

Courtesy the Press Club of India, at least 125 scribes and their families had a good tour of the Rashtrapati Bhavan last fortnight. They walked through the Bhavan, wondering at the marvelous architectural and sculptural beauty, visiting the Mughal Gardens and the Darbar Hall. President Pranab Mukherjee had opened the Rashtrapati Bhavan for the scribes. Sometime later, it was announced that the grand museum would also be opened, so the Club jumped up and claimed right of first sight, before any member of the public could enter. Though more than a 100 journalists had submitted their names for the proposed visit, there were only a handful on the appointed day. They could see the photographs and personal items used by previous presidents, their memorabilia and hand written notes and the expensive gifts they had received from their foreign visits. But perhaps the most thrilling was getting their photos taken with President Pranab Mukherjee. How? Well, there is a hi-tech chair. If you sit on it and click a button, lo and behold, your photo standing right next to His Excellency comes up on the touch screen. The scribes even walked side by side with Mahatma Gandhi and Lady Edwina Mountbatten on the day the Bhavan was inaugurated: virtual reality at its historic best, no doubt!

The nation has not heard the thundering “Nation Wants to Know” for a long time now. Famous News anchor has been turning from door to door to get his channel launched. Looking at his brand value, when he announced his resignation from english channel and set off with an investor, many others queued up at his table. He finally chose a Bengaluru investor who is not only a Rajya Sabha member but co-owns more than a couple of regional channels. The moneybag set up another company with his wife as a joint owner and put in Rs 50 crore as initial investment. No sooner, ‘The Nation Demands’ put in his financial projections on the table. It demanded a whopping Rs 500 crore. Of this, explained, Rs 200 crore would be needed as immediate investment, and then Rs 75 crore per year over the next four years, that is, another Rs 300 crore. At this the investor burst out, and said Rs 50 or 100 crore was more than enough to launch a channel. “Your 500 crore demand is absurd,” he reportedly said.
Cheesed off, he then took his Nation Demands brand to an automobile behemoth, but here too he failed to convince the man. He then reached up to the topmost industrialist of the country and said: “Why don’t you buy up my channel?” Pat came the response: “But where is your channel that you want me to buy?” So loudmouth said: “Why don’t you then become a silent partner and put in your money?” He drew a blank here too. So finally the famous anchor fell at the feet of the saffron party who had found enough favours in his erstwhile channel. It is learned that money is invested through foreign direct investors. So finally, scuttlebutt is that loudmouth has found the gold mine and his channel, first slated to launch in November last and then in January this year, will possibly launch in April. And hence, The Nation will earn back its right to know… phew!

His Excellency the President of India, Dada Pranab Mukherjee is immensely fond of ‘mudhi’, also called ‘murmura’ and is basically puffed rice. And what better than ‘mudhi’ from his native Bengal! The variety from there is unmatched in texture and taste and cannot be found anywhere else. So Prez Dada wanted it to be brought from there, but he had trouble. Apparently, according security regulations, the ‘mudhi’ has to be checked at three points. At every point, therefore, the packets are opened for testing. Now, this means that by the time the ‘mudhi’ reaches Dada’s kitchen, it is damp and loses its texture and freshness and crispness. Dada objected to this several times, but rules being rules, the security fools ruled. So finally, Dada, sources reveal, approached his Personal Staff. But they too said that rules are rules(and fools will rule). So finally, Dada has given up on ‘mudhi’… may be till he retires and settles in his less security-stringent Rajaji Marg residence!

The currency ban issue is not being ferried and hawked too much in the hot election contests in five states. Whatever the reasons may be, it seems that the political parties have decided to let barking dogs lie. Meanwhile, it seems that though the Reserve Bank of India had banned Rs 15.5 lakh crore, what has come back to is Rs 17 lakh crore. So where did the extra Rs 1.5 lakh crore come from? No one is asking, and no one replying either. And so, this is the largest democracy in the world!

Seeing the anti-BJP sullen faces of Jat voters in UP, the party’s top Jat leader Chaudhry Birendera Singh, who is an also-ran minister in the Modi government, summoned the top Jat leaders of the state to his residence for a ‘navigational’ meeting. It was supposed to be a crucial meeting just ahead of western UP’s Jat-belt polls, and another also-ran Modi minister, Jat leader Sanjeev Balyan was equally involved in organising the gathering. Birds in ‘poliwood’ coo that it was party President Amit Shah who had asked the meeting to be organised and suggested that at least 150 UP Jat leaders should be present. But when Shah reached ‘pehlwan’ Singh’s home, he was shocked to see around 1,200 Jat leaders there. What should have been a delight to any other leader, however, rubbed the chip off Shah’s arrogant shoulders. He sternly said he had wanted a think-tank of a small number of leaders, and did not come there to address a ‘public rally’. However, once he recovered his senses, he sat down and asked the gathering why the Jats were cheesed off with the saffron brigade. At which one Jat leader said: “You have given insignificant ministries to both our leaders, Chaudhry Saab and Balyan Saab. The community is hurt with that.” Suddenly, the game of his own Jat leaders became clearer to Shah. Obviously, the responses had been orchestrated. And at that very moment, another young Jat leader tested Shah’s temper. “Our younger Chaudhry Jayant had gone to meet you, but you made him wait for one and half hours.” Shah shot back: “He is not important to me.” And pat came the response: “Well, well… time will tell who is important to whom!” And such vitriol spewed into Shah’s platter even when he sat down for lunch. Soon, the food tasted foul.

Times change and with it, the heavy-footed ambulating of the elephant changes too. Times have changed and the lady too has! Mayawati is now all honey and milk with the media. She had shunned the media all along. But a week before the first phase of polls in her state, UP, she invited four senior scribes of Lucknow for tea. Amongst them was the editor of one of UP’s top newspapers. Also present at Behanji’s tea meet were two of her closest confidants, Satish Mishra and Ambith Rajan. Just when the four sat down at the table for tea, Behanji asked her confidants to leave. Then she asked the journalists: “Tell me, why is it that you portray me as a small player in the elections. Is Akhilesh behind this?” Apparently, she was told: “As such, if you see, such decisions come from the bosses, the top management, that is. But we can tell you this much at least, that you have never cultivated relationships with either journalists or with media houses. You do not even give advertisements for your election campaign in the newspapers. So how do you think anyone will support you?” So, divine wisdom finally landed on Behanji. And no sooner, BSP ads appeared in all three top newspapers of the state. That too, full page ads!

Known all over the world for her 16 years of fast-unto-death, Irom Chanu Sharmila of Manipur may be seeking greener climes. It is known that when she finally gave up her fast and decided to come into electoral politics, both the country’s spy agencies decided to spend their pockets on her and her foreign boyfriend, so that she could campaign and fund candidates of her party – People’s Resurgence and Justice Alliance – from all over the troubled northeastern state. But now it seems that her boyfriend Desmond Coutinho – who was instrumental in her breaking the fast – has made her decide to settle somewhere abroad, in self-exile, much like Bangladeshi author Taslim Nasreen. Apparently, the secret service money remained a ‘secret’ and never reached Irom at all, so her candidates across the state could hardly campaign. It is only Irom who is still somehow fighting CM Ibobi Singh from Thoubal but is on a weak footing. So is it that finally Irom will have her meals in foreign shores?

Congress VP Rahul Gandhi must be very upset with something, or else why should he refuse flatly to attend a crucial meeting of the party, saying he is too busy with the UP elections? Reportedly, party mandarin Ghulam Nabi Azad was dispatched to soothe his ruffled feathers, but on reaching RaGa’s home Azad apparently rubbed in the fact that Akhilesh has said that the SP-Congress alliance will last only till 2019, the year of the next general elections. This seemed to have thrown more petrol into the enflamed RaGa. He spat back: “Of course! At one time Congress was the largest party in the country. But now? In the south we have to look up to some Dravid party. In 2019, we have to play second fiddle to the Smajwadi Party, if, that is, they condescend to grant us 20 seats in UP. In Bihar’s Grand Alliance we shall be given six seats and only four in Jharkhand, so what will we be left with in the elections? A handful of seats. Are we to remain parasites in the coming years?” Azad realised that Pappu had logic on his side and that he was no longer a Pappu, after all!

Will the hanging milk pot drop to the cat’s mouth finally? M Thambidurai at least thinks so. Recently in Parliament’s Central Hall, a curious fellow MP asked him why he is so solidly supporting Tamil Nadu CM Sasikala. “After all, she has little chance of becoming the CM and it all depends on the Supreme Court,” reasoned the MP. Completely calm, Thambidurai said: “Yes, of course I know that. But then, that is when she will need a trusted and steadfast supporter to take over from her, don’t you see!” At that, his friend suddenly became politically wiser….